Deer Season is Open!

People always wonder what their new neighbors will be like when they move to a new house. I knew right away I’d get along with mine. Even though Kyle was almost 10 years older than me, he had a fun and goofy side that kept him young. This was no more evident than the time that I had just arrived home from work to find Kyle chasing an animal from his property. Our houses sat up against a forest and the deer would frequently venture out to see what they could eat. Kyle had a serious problem with deer season and deer coming into his garden and helping themselves to his buffet line.

Perhaps I shouldn’t use the word “serious” and “Kyle” in the same sentence. Kyle’s method of keeping the deer at bay was a little humorous at the time. As I pulled into my driveway, Kyle came running out of his garage wearing just a pair of shorts and the nylon boater shoes that people wear. His hair stood straight on end, like he had just gotten out of bed. He ran from the garage, around the house and into the backyard carrying a large stick like a spear and was yelling wildly.

I’ll admit it was a few moments before I could pick myself up off the ground and go check on him. That had to have been the funniest sight I’d ever seen. I asked Kyle what the problem was. He explained that the deer keep coming out of the woods thinking he was hosting a salad bar. They kept gnawing on his vegetables.

I explained that there are better ways of keeping the deer at bay. If he would take one of his wife’s pantyhose (preferably the old ones with a run in them) and fill it with hair from his next haircut, that keeps them away. They don’t like the human smell. In the same vein if he were to douse the area with urine from a human or another predator that would help keep them away. Seeing the shock on his face, I explained that he could buy those things at a nursery or greenhouse. He should also consider a bloodmeal mixture while he was there – that’s another strong smell that repels deer.

I told him that he should also put a fence around his garden. While this doesn’t work on all pests, it usually helps keep the deer out. The fence works best in combination with other repellants. Deer don’t care for the strong smell of deodorant soap – the stronger perfume smell, the better. If he could hang a few bars around the fence line that would help.

Kyle thanked me for the advice and apologized if he left a bad neighborly impression. I told him that it truly wasn’t a problem. I was considering starting a garden myself and it made my day to know that it would be well guarded. And if I ever needed a good laugh, I would know right where to look.